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Why P. Z. Myers should be wearing the short pants and sneakers

I have theorized elsewhere about the Darwinists’ diminishing status in the gene pool, but there is new and even more alarming evidence of the deterioration of the Darwinist subspecies–further proof that those who believe in the survival of the fittest are less fit for survival. It is becoming increasingly evident that there is a serious lack of creativity among a few Darwinists that could threaten their station on the evolutionary tree.

These days I get most of my news via my Google Reader, and about half of it over the last week seems to be about an attempt by biologist P. Z. Myers to sneak into a private viewing of the new movie “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed,” Ben Stein’s expose of Darwinist thought control in our institutions of higher learning. Myer’s attempt to get into the private screening (which was invitation only) was foiled when he was recognized and told that the private screening was, well, private.

From the indignation with which this incident has been received by the anti-ID crowd, one would think that he was beaten with truncheons by big men in steel-toed boots and physically dragged away from the theater. But, alas, it is not so. Turns out he was just standing there dumbly in line waiting to get in to see the movie, was recognized, and was then asked by theater security to go away, which he did, according to reports, without a struggle.

Such is the state of the Darwinist mindset these days that so unimpressive a performance is considered the stuff of heroism. But P. Z. thought it was something, and he has recounted several times now how he bravely endured his confrontation with theater security (and we know their reputation). I mean, what was he supposed to do? They had badges.


But P. Z.’s story about being “thrown out” gets even more gut-wrenching. After being separated from his family (who security apparently let in to see the movie), Myers ended up at a local Apple store at the Mall of the Americas, where he blogged about his experience.
Talk about being in the belly of the beast.
In any case, what are we supposed to make of all this hoopla? Well according to the Darwinists, this is an example of the hypocrisy of Intelligent Design advocates, who “throw out” people who disagree with ID from the showing of a movie about how people who disagree with Darwinism are thrown out of the academy.
But is limiting the attendance at the pre-screening of an admittedly partisan movie by its creators to invitees only really the same thing as throwing professors out of their academic jobs for having beliefs at odds with the prevailing orthodoxy in their particular discipline–particularly when the institutions engaging in the heave-ho make so much of their respect for academic freedom?
Let’s just say the question answers itself.
Memo to Richard Dawkins, P. Z. Myers, et al.: Go make your own movie and invite only the people you want to come and we promise we won’t whine about it when we’re not on the V.I.P. list. Oh, and if we decide to crash your party, and are so uninspired in the attempt that we can’t even fool a few theater employees, we promise to do the honorable thing and blush in shame.
Hand it to Richard Dawkins: at least he was wily enough to actually succeed in getting in (his passport lists him as “Clinton Richard Dawkins”)–evidence that Dawkins may possess important survivability traits Myers apparently lacks.
But wait a minute: do we really want them to go away and leave the movie alone? The irony of the sophomoric attempts by the neo-atheist crowd to crash the ID party is that the more they do it–and the more they draw attention to the fact that they did it (or, in P. Z.’s case, tried to do it)–the more public attention they draw to the movie.
According to BlogPulse, which apparently measures such things, “Expelled” was the number one topic of conversation in the blogosphere last Monday. If I’m the producer of “Expelled,” I pop a champaign cork every time a famous Darwinist tries to sneak into a sneak preview of my movie. More attention = more press coverage = more viewers at theaters when it opens in April.
So where are the rest of them? Maybe Sam Harris could avoid detection by using a false beard–and perhaps Daniel Dennett could avoid scrutiny by shaving his off. Or how about if Christopher Hitchens got a friend to open the exit door for him. We did this when we were kids at the local cineplex. Trust me. It works.
All we ask is that you don’t embarrass other members of the species by trying to infiltrate the theater with attempts so unimaginative that you can’t even get past theater security. In fact, they created the Darwin Award for just this kind of thing. Wouldn’t it be fitting if it went to a prominent Darwinist?